(Please excuse the few curse words that may present themselves in this blog. Thanks in advance!)
I'm always told how I never open up & share how I feel. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not the type of person that likes to talk about how I feel. I prefer to write & usually stash it somewhere. I thought about stashing it today, but I'm not.
For so many years I've been scared that I'm gonna end up spending my life alone. Alone in a house with Gracie & a bunch of cats. And that's not what I want. I know I'm only 24, but I dream of getting married & having a family. I've met & dated several guys that could have been "the one," only to be left alone. Everything always ends with, "Let's just be friends." Well dammit I DON'T WANNA BE EFFIN FRIENDS!!!!! Shit if I wanted to be friends then I wouldn't have started talking to you from the jump. Ok rant over. Whew that felt good!
And for all you "holy" & extra "holy" folks, I KNOW God is with me when I feel alone. I KNOW that. God is always with me. He's my #1 best friend & he has my back through everything. But I am human. I have blood running through my body. I have the right to want another human to love & have with me until I go on to glory. And that's all I want. I have prayed about. I've been patient. I'll continue to do both.
I am not giving up. Hurt comes along with life and I will learn from it & move on to what's next. When life hands you lemons throw them back until it gives you grapes. They're much tastier :)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Countdown: 42 Days
In 42 days, I'll be sailing away from the United States on my 25th birthday cruise to the Bahamas. So much can happen in 42 days. I can sit here & countdown each day has it arrives (which I plan to do), but I can also make the most of those 42 days.
My prayer for most of the year has been that I remain patient & obedient & wait on God to make moves in my life. I can't sit here & tell God what to do. If I do he'll give me the o_O look & I don't like that look! Instead I have to move according to what he wants me to do. In the next 42 days, I am going to continue to ask God what he wants from me. I know what Carol wants, but what Carol wants is not always what God wants.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
My prayer for most of the year has been that I remain patient & obedient & wait on God to make moves in my life. I can't sit here & tell God what to do. If I do he'll give me the o_O look & I don't like that look! Instead I have to move according to what he wants me to do. In the next 42 days, I am going to continue to ask God what he wants from me. I know what Carol wants, but what Carol wants is not always what God wants.
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| Watching the sunrise on my cruise in 2008 |
Monday, October 25, 2010
Unspoken Wordsll
My elementary school best friend moved faaaaaarrrrr away to Indianapolis when we were in 3rd or 4th grade. There was no free long distance phone plan back then so we had to write letters. When I was younger, I went to a camp in Toccoa, GA & the only communication I had with the outside world was a pen & some paper. With those 2 items I was able to tell my family & friends what life a was like in camp.
Just recently I have been reintroduced to my pen & paper. When my friend got deployed I made up my mind I would be his pen pal (well email pal in this case) so we could stay updated with the happenings on our sides of the world. Earlier this month another friend of mine started army boot camp. I now have a 2nd pen pal!
Being able to write someone can be beneficial for the writer & the reader. In my case, I want to be able to let my friends know that although I can't shoot them a text or have a short 5 minute telephone conversation to say hey; I still think about them. Often times we hear of people getting deployed or going to jail, and they become the poster child of "out of sight, out of mind". I don't want people to feel forgotten. I write to let them know that they are appreciated. I write to put a smile on their faces & let them know they are cared about. This in turn makes me feel good on the inside & smile on the outside.
Letters don't have to be written because that is someones only form of communication. Write a letter to your friend that lives in the state next door or your aunt on the west coast. Let people know you care about them without speaking words. Spoken words can be forgotten. Written words can be looked at all the time. When a person is feeling down, they may read that letter you wrote them 5 years ago that said, "Hey, I was thinking about you & just wanted to let you know."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Just recently I have been reintroduced to my pen & paper. When my friend got deployed I made up my mind I would be his pen pal (well email pal in this case) so we could stay updated with the happenings on our sides of the world. Earlier this month another friend of mine started army boot camp. I now have a 2nd pen pal!
Being able to write someone can be beneficial for the writer & the reader. In my case, I want to be able to let my friends know that although I can't shoot them a text or have a short 5 minute telephone conversation to say hey; I still think about them. Often times we hear of people getting deployed or going to jail, and they become the poster child of "out of sight, out of mind". I don't want people to feel forgotten. I write to let them know that they are appreciated. I write to put a smile on their faces & let them know they are cared about. This in turn makes me feel good on the inside & smile on the outside.
Letters don't have to be written because that is someones only form of communication. Write a letter to your friend that lives in the state next door or your aunt on the west coast. Let people know you care about them without speaking words. Spoken words can be forgotten. Written words can be looked at all the time. When a person is feeling down, they may read that letter you wrote them 5 years ago that said, "Hey, I was thinking about you & just wanted to let you know."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
4th and Comfort Zone
We focus so much on getting down the field to our comfort zone, that we miss out on the chances to enjoy the sounds of the crowd. And God forbid we fumble at 4th and comfort zone & miss the opportunity to score 6 for complacency for the 346,893 time.
This blog comes after several attempts to invite people to a new church that I've started attending. When my sister told me about the church & invited me to come, I said, "Ok." (I blogged on just saying "ok" back in August.) I have asked several of my friends & even a few family members to join me one Sunday at Courageous. I'm not asking anyone to become members or leave their church or anything along those lines. Every church has a family & friends day, & I would like to participate & bring my family & friends.
"Is it a cult?" "What kind of church is it?" "The name of that church sounds like they accept gays." "How long does it last?" "Where is it?" "I can't get up." "It cuts into football." These are just a few of the questions & comments I've gotten when I invite people to come. I would hope that my friends & family trust me enough to know that I would not invite them to just anything.
We get so comfortable going to the churches we grew up in & were forced to go to as children that we don't venture out & see if maybe there's a church that can help you grow. And then there are those of us that miss church some Sundays because we're so comfortable in our beds that we become Bedtime Baptists and TV Baptists. It's perfectly fine to accept an invitation & experience something new for just one day.
This week I challenge everyone reading this to step outside of their comfort zone & take a risk. Cut your hair, paint your nails bright orange, eat some turtle soup, ... JUST BE DIFFERENT!
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Looking Down Only to Miss Out
Looking at the outside of a person will never tell you their full story. I was raised in a family that made friends with everybody under the sun. Company executives, grandmothers, homeless people, janitors, classmates, co-workers, underprivileged children, & the list goes on. There is no one person better than the other. We are all equal in God's eyes.
The problem with many people today is that they think they are better than someone else. I have had many people say, "Dang Carol you talk to everyone." "Yes I do!" From elementary all the way to college, I made it my job to know almost everyone in that school from the teachers to the janitors to the principal to security. I didn't form personal relationships with all of them, but a simple "Hi. How are you ____? Have a good day" can go a long way. Now when I go back to visit those schools, those people still remember me. There is no greater feeling on earth than letting people know you care about their existence.
When I went to school in New Orleans in 2003, I knew no one except for my roommate & the 4 people I went to high school with. By the time I came back to Atlanta in 2008, I had new aunts, uncles, best friends, brothers, sisters, & friends. Why? Because I took the time to talk to people. When I chat with my classmates from college, they always say I wonder what happened to _____. I'm usually the one that can give them updates on that person. Why? Because I still check up on them.
Story: A group of guys used to sit outside the freshman dorm & try to holla at the new girls. Of course we were warned of the "whoadies" so many just walked past them. My name to them was "Atlanta." I started sitting outside with them & watching the students get on the buses to go to the cub. Next thing I know I'm cracking jokes with these guys. After getting to know them, they turned out to be cool people. I am still friends with them to this day.
People that work in the pharmacy sometimes get a bad rep for not conversing with the other people in the store. I make sure I speak to everyone in the store. We work for the same company & no one is better than the next. And because of that I have formed lifelong friendships. When work isn't busy I stop & talk to my customers. More than the regular, "How are you? How may I help you today?" One customer always asks how my mom is doing & I ask about her mom & family. Yes she talks my ear of, but it's probably because I listen to what she has to say. A lot of elderly people are lonely because no one talks to them.
I could go on with stories of the many people I've taken time out to talk to, but you would be here all day reading. Don't always be in a rush & miss out on opportunities to meet people. You never know the blessings either one of you can receive from the conversation. I challenge everyone to step out of their comfort zone & meet new people. You don't have to make them a friend or invite them to dinner & in your home, but at least learn their name & where they're from. These kind gestures will not only make them happy, but make you happy as well.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
The problem with many people today is that they think they are better than someone else. I have had many people say, "Dang Carol you talk to everyone." "Yes I do!" From elementary all the way to college, I made it my job to know almost everyone in that school from the teachers to the janitors to the principal to security. I didn't form personal relationships with all of them, but a simple "Hi. How are you ____? Have a good day" can go a long way. Now when I go back to visit those schools, those people still remember me. There is no greater feeling on earth than letting people know you care about their existence.
When I went to school in New Orleans in 2003, I knew no one except for my roommate & the 4 people I went to high school with. By the time I came back to Atlanta in 2008, I had new aunts, uncles, best friends, brothers, sisters, & friends. Why? Because I took the time to talk to people. When I chat with my classmates from college, they always say I wonder what happened to _____. I'm usually the one that can give them updates on that person. Why? Because I still check up on them.
Story: A group of guys used to sit outside the freshman dorm & try to holla at the new girls. Of course we were warned of the "whoadies" so many just walked past them. My name to them was "Atlanta." I started sitting outside with them & watching the students get on the buses to go to the cub. Next thing I know I'm cracking jokes with these guys. After getting to know them, they turned out to be cool people. I am still friends with them to this day.
People that work in the pharmacy sometimes get a bad rep for not conversing with the other people in the store. I make sure I speak to everyone in the store. We work for the same company & no one is better than the next. And because of that I have formed lifelong friendships. When work isn't busy I stop & talk to my customers. More than the regular, "How are you? How may I help you today?" One customer always asks how my mom is doing & I ask about her mom & family. Yes she talks my ear of, but it's probably because I listen to what she has to say. A lot of elderly people are lonely because no one talks to them.
I could go on with stories of the many people I've taken time out to talk to, but you would be here all day reading. Don't always be in a rush & miss out on opportunities to meet people. You never know the blessings either one of you can receive from the conversation. I challenge everyone to step out of their comfort zone & meet new people. You don't have to make them a friend or invite them to dinner & in your home, but at least learn their name & where they're from. These kind gestures will not only make them happy, but make you happy as well.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
It's the Little Things
I woke up this morning with a text message from Mommy. "U have a flat tire." Oh joy! :-) Today is my day to sleep late, it's cold outside & inside, & I feel like I'm getting sick. The LAST thing I want to hear about is my tire being flat. I didn't jump up to check it out. Instead I laid there for a few minutes, got up & put on shoes, brushed my teeth, threw on a hoodie, then went to assess the damage. Front driver tire... DONE SON! Once I saw the white thread coming out I knew I needed a new one. Got my AAA card & called them up. Wait... not too long. AAA guy shows up. Oh that tire is done! My hands were starting to get cold so I put them in my hoodie pockets & feel some paper in there. What was it you ask? A FREE standard oil change coupon from Firestone my bff Ashley gave me months ago. Expiration date December 2010!!!!! I thought that coupon was long gone! That coupon had just turned my day around & all I could was smile! I'm long overdue for an oil change so I'll be going to get on ASAP!
The AAA guy went in my trunk to get my full spare & saw my Trey Songz "Ready" CD. "Do you have the new Trey Songz album?" I wanted to say, "Sir, Is my tire flat?" But a simple, "Yes" is all I said. "Go make me a copy real quick." "I don't have any blank CDs," but I really wanted to say, "Sir, I'll NEVER burn a Trey Songz CD!" "If I had an extra CD I would give it to you, but I gave away all the ones I bought." We continue to talk about more tire stuff while he finishes up. Before he leaves, I say, "I'm debating on if I should give you my CD out the car." "You should." I went in the car & gave him the CD. He didn't care there was no case, but he was happy I gave it to him.
Today's events happened because of a willingness to give & help others. Daddy pays for my AAA membership which has been a great gift. Ashley gave me a FREE oil change coupon. The AAA guy helped me by changing my tire & adding air in the full spare. I know that's his job, but he was nice & did a good job. I gave him my Trey Songz CD.
No matter how bad a situation may seem to you, there is always an opportunity to turn it around and make it good. I could still be walking around pouting & upset, but no; I'm about to cook myself breakfast & enjoy the rest of my morning. Giving the AAA guy that CD may have made his day. I'll never see him again to know, but I'll just hope he's happy driving around helping more AAA customers while listening to one of my favorite artists.
Side Note: My tire is DONE SON! (I had to repeat that in case y'all missed it earlier.) Not only was the white thread exposed on both sides, but it was splitting on the inside & wires or whatever it is was sticking out as well. I'm sooooooooo thankful I woke up to a text message about my flat tire outside my house in my driveway. I could have been on 285 going to or coming from work & had a blow out.
Now please excuse me while I go nibble on my bacon & stare at my FREE oil change coupon :-)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
The AAA guy went in my trunk to get my full spare & saw my Trey Songz "Ready" CD. "Do you have the new Trey Songz album?" I wanted to say, "Sir, Is my tire flat?" But a simple, "Yes" is all I said. "Go make me a copy real quick." "I don't have any blank CDs," but I really wanted to say, "Sir, I'll NEVER burn a Trey Songz CD!" "If I had an extra CD I would give it to you, but I gave away all the ones I bought." We continue to talk about more tire stuff while he finishes up. Before he leaves, I say, "I'm debating on if I should give you my CD out the car." "You should." I went in the car & gave him the CD. He didn't care there was no case, but he was happy I gave it to him.
Today's events happened because of a willingness to give & help others. Daddy pays for my AAA membership which has been a great gift. Ashley gave me a FREE oil change coupon. The AAA guy helped me by changing my tire & adding air in the full spare. I know that's his job, but he was nice & did a good job. I gave him my Trey Songz CD.
No matter how bad a situation may seem to you, there is always an opportunity to turn it around and make it good. I could still be walking around pouting & upset, but no; I'm about to cook myself breakfast & enjoy the rest of my morning. Giving the AAA guy that CD may have made his day. I'll never see him again to know, but I'll just hope he's happy driving around helping more AAA customers while listening to one of my favorite artists.
Side Note: My tire is DONE SON! (I had to repeat that in case y'all missed it earlier.) Not only was the white thread exposed on both sides, but it was splitting on the inside & wires or whatever it is was sticking out as well. I'm sooooooooo thankful I woke up to a text message about my flat tire outside my house in my driveway. I could have been on 285 going to or coming from work & had a blow out.
Now please excuse me while I go nibble on my bacon & stare at my FREE oil change coupon :-)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Judgement Impaired
Lately I have been involved and seen situations that have shown me that we as a people often suffer from judgement impairment. Hearing and visual impairment affect the ears & eyes, whereas judgement impairment affects the mind and the capability of making sound decisions.
According to one definition from WorldNet Web Princeton, judgement is a noun meaning the capacity to assess situations or circumstances shrewdly and to draw sound conclusions. The same website defines sound as an adjective meaning logically valid.
When it comes time for a decision to be made, some people think about the pros and cons. Others just go for the gut. There is nothing wrong with either. Weighing the pros and cons of a situation can allow you to see what the best decision is. But you can also end up convincing yourself not to do something. Going off of gut feeling may result in making a poor choice, but it can sometimes be the best decision. In each situation you face, you must decided what's best for you; looking at the good and bad or going with your first instinct.
When your judgement involves others, it's best to think your choice out thoroughly. Let's use T.I. as an example. When T.I. decided to get in his car with Tiny and use illegal substances I seriously doubt he thought out what could possibly happen. He didn't think about his family, friends, the judge that looked out for him in his previous legal situation, or the fans that stood by his side during the entire time he was going through his situation. Now people are stuck trying to decide if they should continue to support him.
When it all comes down to the final play, do what's best for you, but make sure your decision is not going to negatively affect you or others. There is a cure for judgement impairment and it is called THINKING THOROUGHLY! (I just forced those 2 words to fit together hehe!)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
According to one definition from WorldNet Web Princeton, judgement is a noun meaning the capacity to assess situations or circumstances shrewdly and to draw sound conclusions. The same website defines sound as an adjective meaning logically valid.
When it comes time for a decision to be made, some people think about the pros and cons. Others just go for the gut. There is nothing wrong with either. Weighing the pros and cons of a situation can allow you to see what the best decision is. But you can also end up convincing yourself not to do something. Going off of gut feeling may result in making a poor choice, but it can sometimes be the best decision. In each situation you face, you must decided what's best for you; looking at the good and bad or going with your first instinct.
When your judgement involves others, it's best to think your choice out thoroughly. Let's use T.I. as an example. When T.I. decided to get in his car with Tiny and use illegal substances I seriously doubt he thought out what could possibly happen. He didn't think about his family, friends, the judge that looked out for him in his previous legal situation, or the fans that stood by his side during the entire time he was going through his situation. Now people are stuck trying to decide if they should continue to support him.
When it all comes down to the final play, do what's best for you, but make sure your decision is not going to negatively affect you or others. There is a cure for judgement impairment and it is called THINKING THOROUGHLY! (I just forced those 2 words to fit together hehe!)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hurricane Katrina: What I Learned
In each and every obstacle you go through in life, you come out having gained some type of knowledge. If you are not constantly learning, you are not living. Hurricane Katrina taught me so many lessons.
1) EVACUATE! I packed my car to the roof for every storm after Katrina. There was no way I would be stuck in Decatur again with 3 days worth of clothes.
2) Not everyone is a true friend. As previously mentioned in the first part of my story, I evacuated with my roommate & our friend. My parents welcomed them into our home. D (my friend) stayed with us for a week, then went to Texas to meet up with the rest of her family. She was very appreciative of the fact that we let her stay with us until she could get to her family. She even went as far as to give my parents a card for their anniversary & to thank them for their hospitality.
On the other hand P (my roommate) wasn't as appreciative. Everything was fine in the beginning. She didn't want to go home so we told her she could stay with us as long as she wanted. We didn't ask for anything from her. I helped get her a job & we even had family friends offering her clothes. It all started to go down hill once I realized she didn't care for my mommy. You cannot come into my house & be disrespectful to my family. P didn't want to ride to New Orleans in October with us because my mom was coming. Strike #1
I knew I was going back to New Orleans once school reopened; she wasn't. We both knew our lease was still good until Aug 2006. P & I made an agreement that if I found a new roommate from Jan 2006 until the end of the lease, she would continue to pay until Dec 2005. She said it to my face as well as my parents that she would not leave me in a bind & that we could trust her. That changed once she went back home to visit & all of a sudden found family members that cared about her. Now she wanted to discuss things with relatives & lawyers & wanted copies of the lease. She called my sister & told her she wasn't responsible for paying for anything since she no longer lived in New Orleans. P did not hold her end of the deal. Strike #2
A person that I accepted and befriended 2 years before despite her religious views & sexual preference. I overlooked that & made her a friend, only to have her stab me in the back. To this day my family has not received ANY form of thank you from her. Strike #3 We were all hurt by what she did to us after we made her a part of the family. (And she still owes me $410! YOU'RE OUT!)
3) BUT good friends do exist. Elijah & I weren't on speaking terms at the moment, but he didn't let some dumb fight stop him from calling & telling me to please get out of New Orleans. All of the calls, texts, prayers, & concerns I got from family & friends all over the country helped me to know that people do care.
4) Without my family there would be no me. My parents did not have to let me come back home, but they did. My sister did not have to let me borrow her clothes, but she did. My brother (& the rest of the family) did not have to pray for me, but he did. My sister-n-law did not have to answer the phone & listen to my cries about how P hurt me & why me, but she did.
FEMA contacted me saying they wanted all of the money they gave me back because New Orleans was not my primary residence when in fact it was. I had to let them know that was my only place of residence. I no longer lived with my parents. They did not have to let me stay with them for those 4 months, but because I am their daughter & they love me, they welcomed me into their house. I am thankful for everything my family did for me during that time. No words can express how grateful I am for the family I was born into.
5) Make-up school is NOT fun. To help us catch up at Xavier, we did THREE semesters in ONE year. Three FULL semesters. Not 2 & summer school sessions. THREE SEMESTERS!
6) Enjoy life while you're still on earth & have a chance. My first 2 years at Xavier I wanted to LEAVE! I wanted to transfer & get the hell out of New Orleans. While at GSU, I was ready to go back to New Orleans & my school. I didn't know what I was missing until I was gone. Before Katrina, I did not allow myself to venture out much. I didn't get to know the history of the city, experience its culture or enjoy the kind spirits of the people. Once I allowed myself to do that after Katrina, N.O. became my second home. That city and its people hold a special place n my heart. I'm glad I was able to open my eyes and see New Orleans as more than the murder capital. (And I suggest you do too.)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
1) EVACUATE! I packed my car to the roof for every storm after Katrina. There was no way I would be stuck in Decatur again with 3 days worth of clothes.
2) Not everyone is a true friend. As previously mentioned in the first part of my story, I evacuated with my roommate & our friend. My parents welcomed them into our home. D (my friend) stayed with us for a week, then went to Texas to meet up with the rest of her family. She was very appreciative of the fact that we let her stay with us until she could get to her family. She even went as far as to give my parents a card for their anniversary & to thank them for their hospitality.
On the other hand P (my roommate) wasn't as appreciative. Everything was fine in the beginning. She didn't want to go home so we told her she could stay with us as long as she wanted. We didn't ask for anything from her. I helped get her a job & we even had family friends offering her clothes. It all started to go down hill once I realized she didn't care for my mommy. You cannot come into my house & be disrespectful to my family. P didn't want to ride to New Orleans in October with us because my mom was coming. Strike #1
I knew I was going back to New Orleans once school reopened; she wasn't. We both knew our lease was still good until Aug 2006. P & I made an agreement that if I found a new roommate from Jan 2006 until the end of the lease, she would continue to pay until Dec 2005. She said it to my face as well as my parents that she would not leave me in a bind & that we could trust her. That changed once she went back home to visit & all of a sudden found family members that cared about her. Now she wanted to discuss things with relatives & lawyers & wanted copies of the lease. She called my sister & told her she wasn't responsible for paying for anything since she no longer lived in New Orleans. P did not hold her end of the deal. Strike #2
A person that I accepted and befriended 2 years before despite her religious views & sexual preference. I overlooked that & made her a friend, only to have her stab me in the back. To this day my family has not received ANY form of thank you from her. Strike #3 We were all hurt by what she did to us after we made her a part of the family. (And she still owes me $410! YOU'RE OUT!)
3) BUT good friends do exist. Elijah & I weren't on speaking terms at the moment, but he didn't let some dumb fight stop him from calling & telling me to please get out of New Orleans. All of the calls, texts, prayers, & concerns I got from family & friends all over the country helped me to know that people do care.
4) Without my family there would be no me. My parents did not have to let me come back home, but they did. My sister did not have to let me borrow her clothes, but she did. My brother (& the rest of the family) did not have to pray for me, but he did. My sister-n-law did not have to answer the phone & listen to my cries about how P hurt me & why me, but she did.
FEMA contacted me saying they wanted all of the money they gave me back because New Orleans was not my primary residence when in fact it was. I had to let them know that was my only place of residence. I no longer lived with my parents. They did not have to let me stay with them for those 4 months, but because I am their daughter & they love me, they welcomed me into their house. I am thankful for everything my family did for me during that time. No words can express how grateful I am for the family I was born into.
5) Make-up school is NOT fun. To help us catch up at Xavier, we did THREE semesters in ONE year. Three FULL semesters. Not 2 & summer school sessions. THREE SEMESTERS!
6) Enjoy life while you're still on earth & have a chance. My first 2 years at Xavier I wanted to LEAVE! I wanted to transfer & get the hell out of New Orleans. While at GSU, I was ready to go back to New Orleans & my school. I didn't know what I was missing until I was gone. Before Katrina, I did not allow myself to venture out much. I didn't get to know the history of the city, experience its culture or enjoy the kind spirits of the people. Once I allowed myself to do that after Katrina, N.O. became my second home. That city and its people hold a special place n my heart. I'm glad I was able to open my eyes and see New Orleans as more than the murder capital. (And I suggest you do too.)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Hurricane Katrina: My Story (Part 2)
Who knew a normally 7 hour drive from N.O. to Atlanta would be doubled plus more?! Within those 16 hours I probably experienced every emotion possible. Restlessness, boredom, anxiousness, sadness, happiness, anger, peace. One moment I didn't want to hear the oldies they were playing on the radio. The next moment, I just wanted the roads to part like the Red Sea & for the car to get wings, jets, anything & get me home ASAP!
The roads were filled with people trying to go any direction away from Katrina & New Orleans. Cars were stopped along the road so people & their pets could use the bathroom. They were also stopped to give people a break, so they could stretch & take a breather. Gas stations were filled with angry drivers that didn't know if they had enough gas to get to the next town. Gas pumps were filled with, well, nothing. They were empty. Every octane, every pump. Not one drop was left. Restaurants occupied hungry families. Rest areas housed cars of people needing to take a nap.
The time spent on the road kept getting longer & longer & Katrina kept coming closer & closer. At one point I figured we should just sit on the road & watch as she made landfall. Calls home began sounding the same, "Yeah we're still on the road." "We've move 500 yds in 2 hours." "I'll be there one day." "Katrina is gonna beat me home."
I finally made it home around 3am to 2 parents that were glad I was safe. Instead of going to bed, I sat on the couch for the next few hours & watched CNN's coverage of Katrina making landfall. I finally went to bed only to awaken Monday morning to watch CNN again. The damage I saw on the news was bad, but I knew I would be back by the end of the week.
Then the levees broke.
I watched as the waters flooded the city. Unbelievable. Calls coming in & out of my phone asking if I was watching the news & if I was safe. "Yes." One of the most memorable calls I got was from the dorm mother in the freshman dorm. (My first 2 years at Xavier I became very close to Ms. Mack. I told everyone she was my aunt.) She was still in New Orleans, still in the dorm. There were ~300 students along with some faculty & staff & their families still on campus. Ms. Mack was constantly calling to give updates. The first few calls were calm, but then they started to get worse. I didn't know what to do. It was almost impossible to call anyone with a 504 number so I couldn't get them help.
I spent the next day watching the news, taking calls from Ms. Mack & trying my best to get them out the dorm. I searched for the national guard's number. My roommate that came home with me called the NJ police department, while I called DeKalb County. We don't know what they could have done but I was desperate to get them off campus, out of the flood waters & out of New Orleans.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005, I went to bible study. Of course the main subject was praying for everyone affected by Katrina. I was doing fine. Then everything just hit me. POW! I broke down & cried til I don't think I could cry anymore. That was my breaking point. New Orleans was washed away. Ms. Mack was still in the dorm. People were stranded in attics, on the roof, at the Superdome & at the Convention Center. That could have been me. But I was safe & sound at home. I couldn't help those people. I felt guilty.
The students on campus were finally rescued & taken out of the city. Relief. Now came the waiting game. Is my apartment ok? Did the tree fall on my car? When can I go back? What about school? Each day came a new question with a new answer. Am I going to see my friends again? Is the my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding ok?
I still only had my 3 days worth of clothes with me & the few clothes I left home when I went to college. I borrowed my sister's clothes. They were the start to many fights. Most out of anger & frustration because I couldn't get back to my stuff.
The roads were filled with people trying to go any direction away from Katrina & New Orleans. Cars were stopped along the road so people & their pets could use the bathroom. They were also stopped to give people a break, so they could stretch & take a breather. Gas stations were filled with angry drivers that didn't know if they had enough gas to get to the next town. Gas pumps were filled with, well, nothing. They were empty. Every octane, every pump. Not one drop was left. Restaurants occupied hungry families. Rest areas housed cars of people needing to take a nap.
The time spent on the road kept getting longer & longer & Katrina kept coming closer & closer. At one point I figured we should just sit on the road & watch as she made landfall. Calls home began sounding the same, "Yeah we're still on the road." "We've move 500 yds in 2 hours." "I'll be there one day." "Katrina is gonna beat me home."
I finally made it home around 3am to 2 parents that were glad I was safe. Instead of going to bed, I sat on the couch for the next few hours & watched CNN's coverage of Katrina making landfall. I finally went to bed only to awaken Monday morning to watch CNN again. The damage I saw on the news was bad, but I knew I would be back by the end of the week.
Then the levees broke.
I watched as the waters flooded the city. Unbelievable. Calls coming in & out of my phone asking if I was watching the news & if I was safe. "Yes." One of the most memorable calls I got was from the dorm mother in the freshman dorm. (My first 2 years at Xavier I became very close to Ms. Mack. I told everyone she was my aunt.) She was still in New Orleans, still in the dorm. There were ~300 students along with some faculty & staff & their families still on campus. Ms. Mack was constantly calling to give updates. The first few calls were calm, but then they started to get worse. I didn't know what to do. It was almost impossible to call anyone with a 504 number so I couldn't get them help.
I spent the next day watching the news, taking calls from Ms. Mack & trying my best to get them out the dorm. I searched for the national guard's number. My roommate that came home with me called the NJ police department, while I called DeKalb County. We don't know what they could have done but I was desperate to get them off campus, out of the flood waters & out of New Orleans.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005, I went to bible study. Of course the main subject was praying for everyone affected by Katrina. I was doing fine. Then everything just hit me. POW! I broke down & cried til I don't think I could cry anymore. That was my breaking point. New Orleans was washed away. Ms. Mack was still in the dorm. People were stranded in attics, on the roof, at the Superdome & at the Convention Center. That could have been me. But I was safe & sound at home. I couldn't help those people. I felt guilty.
The students on campus were finally rescued & taken out of the city. Relief. Now came the waiting game. Is my apartment ok? Did the tree fall on my car? When can I go back? What about school? Each day came a new question with a new answer. Am I going to see my friends again? Is the my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding ok?
I still only had my 3 days worth of clothes with me & the few clothes I left home when I went to college. I borrowed my sister's clothes. They were the start to many fights. Most out of anger & frustration because I couldn't get back to my stuff.
"Carol if you're gonna wear my stuff wash it & return it!"
"I don't wanna wear your clothes! I'm sorry that it's cold outside
& I left New Orleans with shorts, t-shirts & tank tops. I can't wait til you move out!"
"Well I can't wait til you go back to N.O."
"I can't either! Trust me, if I could leave now I would!"
That's somewhat how our conversations went on occasion. But deep down inside I was glad to be safe at home with a family that loved me.
I kept begging my parents to let me go back. I was reading the comments being posted on www.nola.com & knew the area where I lived (Harahan) was fine. My parents kept telling me to wait. "But they're letting people back in!" Finally in October, I had convinced them to let me go back for a day 2 day trip. My mom & I drove to New Orleans to check on my stuff & to assess the damage. My apartment was fine. *sigh of relief* The bridesmaid dress was still in the closet. Now I had 2. (Mommy had me get another dress just in case this one was ruined.) The tree did not fall on my car! DANG! I got in it, put the key in the ignition, turned it & my red VW Passat started up with no problems.
Once the sun went down, the city shut down. The next morning we rushed around taking care of business & driving around the city. I packed all my clothes & other belongings. Made sure the rental office had 3 checks. One for every month til I could get back for good. We drove to Xavier. The water lines were 5-6 ft in most places. We drove carefully thru the 9th ward to check out the damage to Ms. Mack's mom's house. Water line was to the roof. There was no coming back.
Those next few months, I went to school at Georgia State University with a lot of other displaced students. I hated it. It was not Xavier. A school that I wanted to transfer out of for the first 2 years, but began to appreciate it after sitting in classrooms of 100 people at GSU. The student life was GREAT! I enjoyed sitting in the quad listening to the DJ & catching up with old high school classmates that went to GSU. But still, it was not Xavier.
School was finally going to reopen in January. PRAISE THE LORD! I started packing up my stuff. Shopping for my still partially unfurnished apartment with my new roommate. (More on the story of how I got a new one at a later date. DRAMA!) I even got a new VW Passat. VDub is his name.
The date was around January 6, 2005. VDub was packed to the max. My roommate's car was packed beyond the max. We still had more stuff that needed to get to New Orleans! The cars were started & we made that journey back to the city where we belonged. This time it took the normal 7 hours.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hurricane Katrina: My Story (Part 1)
August 29, 2010 marks the 5th anniversary of probably the worst natural disaster the United States of America has ever witnessed. I often give an abridged version of my experience. Now would be a good time to give my full story.
The last week of August 2005, meteorologists began following Katrina when she was just a tropical depression. She made land fall in Florida as a Cat 1 hurricane, then came into the Gulf of Mexico. Around Friday, Aug 26th, I knew the storm was moving towards New Orleans. As we know, storms can change directions so I wasn't too worried. I went to work Sat the 27th like it was a regular day. Storm trackers continued watching Katrina. I left work that night thinking I would be back that next morning. (Oh I had just started that job Aug 1, 2005)
Sunday, August 28, 2005 I woke up & turned on the news to see where Katrina was now. She was getting stronger & had Cat 4 & 5 winds at some point while in the Gulf. I knew then I wasn't going to work. Still not too worried about the storm, I laid on the floor in my apartment I moved into around Aug 22, 2005. My roommate, our friend, & I had no plans of leaving, so we turned off the news & put Friday After Next into the DVD player. We periodically turned to the news & answered & made calls regarding Katrina.
I called home often to inform them of what was going on. Mommy told me to make the best & safest decision. I planned to stay thinking Katrina would be like Hurricane Ivan that "hit" the year before.
*Side story* For Ivan, myself & 2 friends tried to evacuate, but ended up back in the city. It took us 6 hrs to go ~30 miles. We stopped at Waffle House, ate, & made an executive decision to go back to N.O. & weather the storm. We ended up staying with a friend of my family's & I must say we had a good time! The city was indeed quiet, but we had fun being fed gourmet meals & walking down windy streets while on a mandatory curfew (rebels!) Ivan brought mostly wind damage to the city that year.
Calls continued coming in & going out of our phones. I made sure to keep track of the decisions being made by the lady I stayed with for Ivan. Her family NEVER evacuates for hurricanes. When she said they were leaving, my worries heightened. One of my good friends Elijah & I were going through our occasional "I'm mad at you & not talking to you" phase and when he called and said, "Carol please leave," I knew I had to do something. I started to convince my roommate & my friend that we need to go. I went outside & started talking to a family that stayed in the building across from mine. Coincidentally they had twins that went to Xavier and they were from Atlanta. The mom told me to get out. She gave me their number & asked me to keep her posted & she would do the same.
Back at my apartment, we started packing. And like every other evacuee, I packed about 3 days of clothes. I decided to leave my car with hopes that a tree would fall on it. The 3 of us climbed into one car & hit the road. That started our SIXTEEN HOUR journey to Decatur, GA.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
The last week of August 2005, meteorologists began following Katrina when she was just a tropical depression. She made land fall in Florida as a Cat 1 hurricane, then came into the Gulf of Mexico. Around Friday, Aug 26th, I knew the storm was moving towards New Orleans. As we know, storms can change directions so I wasn't too worried. I went to work Sat the 27th like it was a regular day. Storm trackers continued watching Katrina. I left work that night thinking I would be back that next morning. (Oh I had just started that job Aug 1, 2005)
Sunday, August 28, 2005 I woke up & turned on the news to see where Katrina was now. She was getting stronger & had Cat 4 & 5 winds at some point while in the Gulf. I knew then I wasn't going to work. Still not too worried about the storm, I laid on the floor in my apartment I moved into around Aug 22, 2005. My roommate, our friend, & I had no plans of leaving, so we turned off the news & put Friday After Next into the DVD player. We periodically turned to the news & answered & made calls regarding Katrina.
I called home often to inform them of what was going on. Mommy told me to make the best & safest decision. I planned to stay thinking Katrina would be like Hurricane Ivan that "hit" the year before.
*Side story* For Ivan, myself & 2 friends tried to evacuate, but ended up back in the city. It took us 6 hrs to go ~30 miles. We stopped at Waffle House, ate, & made an executive decision to go back to N.O. & weather the storm. We ended up staying with a friend of my family's & I must say we had a good time! The city was indeed quiet, but we had fun being fed gourmet meals & walking down windy streets while on a mandatory curfew (rebels!) Ivan brought mostly wind damage to the city that year.
Calls continued coming in & going out of our phones. I made sure to keep track of the decisions being made by the lady I stayed with for Ivan. Her family NEVER evacuates for hurricanes. When she said they were leaving, my worries heightened. One of my good friends Elijah & I were going through our occasional "I'm mad at you & not talking to you" phase and when he called and said, "Carol please leave," I knew I had to do something. I started to convince my roommate & my friend that we need to go. I went outside & started talking to a family that stayed in the building across from mine. Coincidentally they had twins that went to Xavier and they were from Atlanta. The mom told me to get out. She gave me their number & asked me to keep her posted & she would do the same.
Back at my apartment, we started packing. And like every other evacuee, I packed about 3 days of clothes. I decided to leave my car with hopes that a tree would fall on it. The 3 of us climbed into one car & hit the road. That started our SIXTEEN HOUR journey to Decatur, GA.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I Don't Wanna Talk!
Everyone expresses their feelings in different ways. I prefer to write mine down, cry them out, and even run away from them. I do sometimes talk to people, but not as often as others. Shoot I even like holding it all in then spazzing out! (Don't judge me) You make like to tell the world or write a song or talk to someone. Whatever it is that you like to do, don't force me to go along with it & do the same. As my current Skype status says, "I am me, you are you."
When I need to get something out, I go to my happy place. And if you don't have a happy place, I suggest you go find one. Once I go there, I allow myself to be separated from what's going on outside of those 4 walls. I am free to sing, dance, laugh, blog, cry, scream, imagine, hope, pray. (Yes I'm in my happy place right now.) And 9 times out of 10, I walk out feeling so much better!
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Couldn't have said it any better! |
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Friday, August 20, 2010
FRIDAY!!!!!!
(to catch the beat, click --->) IT'S FRIDAY, IT'S FRIDAY, IT'S THE END OF THE WEEK IT'S THE LAST DAY, YO CAROL IT'S ON YOU, SO WHAT YOU GONNA DOOOOO *takes mic* WEEEELLLLL I'M GON GET MY HOUSE SIT ON, THEN I'M GON GET MY HOUSEWARMING ON, THEN I'M GON GET MY SLEEP ON, ALL WEEKEND LONG!!!
Friday has become the universal day of happiness. TGIF. Thank God It's Friday. I can't wait til Friday. It's Friday, the end of the week. These words have been uttered from people of all ages, all over the world for many Fridays. But why Friday? It's the day before 2 days of no work, no school, no stress, no drama. Just you, a bunch of weekend sales, parties, nap times, & TV watching. Some Fridays are more exciting than others because a pay check comes with it.
Today is the day for time to move very fast then STOP the second you leave work. Time to put on those party shoes & have a GREAT weekend before Monday (the most hated day of the week) rolls around. This reminds me of a joke I found. Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days? Cuz all the other days are weekdays!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!! Everybody have a fun, relaxing weekend! The next 42 hours were designed for YOU!
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Accommodations
When you're planning a vacation, one of the first things you may do is find hotel accommodations. One hotel has everything you want except for free breakfast and free wifi. The next hotel doesn't have a microwave and fridge in the room. And the final hotel doesn't have a pool or fitness center. At what point do you stop looking and just choose one of the three hotels? At what point in your life do you stop trying to accommodate others and just do what you want to do?
So many times in life we put off our wants and needs in order to make someone else happy. If we continue to do that, we will never get anything accomplished. In return we'll be sitting around constantly saying, "What if?" You cannot please everyone! Not even yourself! You may be thinking, "Well isn't that selfish?" NO! Sometimes it is ok to put yourself ahead of others. Don't feel bad when you do. Constantly bending over backwards to make others happy is not always healthy. Find some people to put in your corner that will support what you do and will not try to pause or stop your plans.
Word of the day is ACCOMMODATE "We must stop trying to
adjust our lives, goals, dreams, plans, and aspirations in order to accommodate those that don't fit in."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
So many times in life we put off our wants and needs in order to make someone else happy. If we continue to do that, we will never get anything accomplished. In return we'll be sitting around constantly saying, "What if?" You cannot please everyone! Not even yourself! You may be thinking, "Well isn't that selfish?" NO! Sometimes it is ok to put yourself ahead of others. Don't feel bad when you do. Constantly bending over backwards to make others happy is not always healthy. Find some people to put in your corner that will support what you do and will not try to pause or stop your plans.
Word of the day is ACCOMMODATE "We must stop trying to
adjust our lives, goals, dreams, plans, and aspirations in order to accommodate those that don't fit in."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Monday, August 16, 2010
"OK"
We should all be familiar with the phrase "Just say, 'Ok Mommy'." If you aren't then you were the perfect little child that never tried to talk back. As I'm growing older, I'm starting to learn that "Ok Mommy" can be used in many situations & it can make life somewhat stress free.
At work, you may be told to do something that you really don't want to do or that you think doesn't make a bit of since. Rather than arguing about it & still having to do, you may say, "Ok." In a relationship, you may argue with the other person and eventually one of you will stop & say "Ok." It may make your blood boil when they utter those 2 letters, but stop & think about how much drama can be saved.
Next time you're in a situation where an argument is starting to form, I challenge u to just say, "Ok."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
At work, you may be told to do something that you really don't want to do or that you think doesn't make a bit of since. Rather than arguing about it & still having to do, you may say, "Ok." In a relationship, you may argue with the other person and eventually one of you will stop & say "Ok." It may make your blood boil when they utter those 2 letters, but stop & think about how much drama can be saved.
Next time you're in a situation where an argument is starting to form, I challenge u to just say, "Ok."
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Holding On
We all hold on to something whether it be a memory, picture, letter, or baby blanket. But what makes you hold on to items like those. Is it so you can show your kids when they are older? Or so that you can occasionally reflect on an event in your life?
Holding on to some things can cause problems. Old letters & pictures from your high school girlfriend may not sit too well with the person you are currently dating. But did you argue about those things & never get rid of them in hopes that something positive may come in the future?
What about keeping your wedding dress from 17 years ago that you'll never be able to wear or fit? That can cause a problem because you may stare at it saying, "I wish I were that small again." Are you saying that to challenge yourself to get "small" again, or to say how did you let yourself get this "big"?
We hold on to family treasures & stories so they can be passed on through the generations. Some of the best family stories are not those that are written, but those that are remembered. It allows Grandma & Uncle Herb the chance to reflect & even add a few fibs to a story that the grand kids may not have known if it weren't for Grandma & Uncle Herb remembering the event.
We sometimes hold on to memories so that when a situation comes around you have learned how to effectively handle it. The next time a hurricane comes through, I'll be the first one on the road so that I don't have to sit through 16 hrs worth of traffic & headache like I did 5 yrs ago for Hurricane Katrina.
Do you need to burn those old photos or journals? Is it time to share with your children what you did as a kid so they know Mommy & Daddy did foolish things too? Can you give your nephew Grandpa's pocket watch to keep until his nephew is old enough? No matter what or why you have kept something around, it's time to decide on do you need to let it ago or keep it around.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Holding on to some things can cause problems. Old letters & pictures from your high school girlfriend may not sit too well with the person you are currently dating. But did you argue about those things & never get rid of them in hopes that something positive may come in the future?
What about keeping your wedding dress from 17 years ago that you'll never be able to wear or fit? That can cause a problem because you may stare at it saying, "I wish I were that small again." Are you saying that to challenge yourself to get "small" again, or to say how did you let yourself get this "big"?
We hold on to family treasures & stories so they can be passed on through the generations. Some of the best family stories are not those that are written, but those that are remembered. It allows Grandma & Uncle Herb the chance to reflect & even add a few fibs to a story that the grand kids may not have known if it weren't for Grandma & Uncle Herb remembering the event.
We sometimes hold on to memories so that when a situation comes around you have learned how to effectively handle it. The next time a hurricane comes through, I'll be the first one on the road so that I don't have to sit through 16 hrs worth of traffic & headache like I did 5 yrs ago for Hurricane Katrina.
Do you need to burn those old photos or journals? Is it time to share with your children what you did as a kid so they know Mommy & Daddy did foolish things too? Can you give your nephew Grandpa's pocket watch to keep until his nephew is old enough? No matter what or why you have kept something around, it's time to decide on do you need to let it ago or keep it around.
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Did you say blog?! Don't Mind if I do!
Well guys, the time has come for the short one to empty out what's in her mind. Let me introduce myself. My birth name is Carol, but over the past 24 yrs of my life I have become known by many other names including Boom Boom; a name that only my mommy can call me.
"The Short One" is a description I've heard many people use to tell others about me. "You see the short one over there? Yeah that's Carol." And being a TOWERING 5 feet, I wear my title as the "short one" very proudly.
Moving on... This first post is gonna be like a first date. I'll be nice & kind, show that I have manners & wasn't raised in the woods by a pack of wolves. But after a few posts aka dates, all that will change!
I enjoy the simple things in life. Like clothing/linen straight out the dryer, cutting coupons, finding the lyrics for my favorite songs, and the jokes on a Laffy Taffy wrapper. (Come on! You know you like those jokes!)
"The Short One" is a description I've heard many people use to tell others about me. "You see the short one over there? Yeah that's Carol." And being a TOWERING 5 feet, I wear my title as the "short one" very proudly.
Moving on... This first post is gonna be like a first date. I'll be nice & kind, show that I have manners & wasn't raised in the woods by a pack of wolves. But after a few posts aka dates, all that will change!
I enjoy the simple things in life. Like clothing/linen straight out the dryer, cutting coupons, finding the lyrics for my favorite songs, and the jokes on a Laffy Taffy wrapper. (Come on! You know you like those jokes!)
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| How does a man on the moon get his hair cut? (eclipse it) LOL!!!! |
I dislike waking up early in the morning. The late bird catches the late worm! I'm also not a fan of people that can't get it together. I can be spur of the moment at times so you always have to be ready to go or you well get left coughing on my dust. PEWWWWNN!!!
Enough of that! Why am I writing this blog? Glad that you asked! There is one simple answer... My brain is filled with LOTS and LOTS of thoughts, questions, ideas, & concerns about life. As I sat on my bed this morning I began venting about the circus the East Point Housing Authority had on Wednesday. In the middle of asking why, my little 40w light bulb (too early in the morning for a 100w) went off in my head & said "BLOG!" So i did! And I choose you, you right there sitting on your couch (shout out to Everest College) to be my victim!
Hopefully my self-diagnosed ADD doesn't kick in & distract me from keeping up with this blog. But until I get around to another post, feel free to leave comments, ask questions, share stories, or even tell jokes. I am here to put a smile on your face!
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Carol "The Short One"
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