Away

I'm doing everything inside of me to resist the urge to pack up & move away. I want to go to a place where I know almost no one there. Somewhere new. A place away from familiarity. To challenge myself . To get to know myself. A new life adventure in a city that I can grow to love. But to make this happen, I must first believe that it can be done. I must believe in Carol.

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Hours After, Still Awake: Pep Talk

Christmas has been over for 1 hr 33mins (will be longer by the time I finish). Praise the Lord. Glad that is behind me. Unfortunately, I'm laying in bed wide awake watching Sportscenter (I'm single to all you available guys lol). Guess I'll type some words. I would write in my new journal appropriately titled "thoughts," but it's downstairs by the Christmas tree.

Anywho, let me get to the point so I can go to sleep. I'm always coming up with elaborate plans in my head but I either don't follow thru with them, or I only partially complete them. That has to end. This week, I'll be outlining a few goals for myself. It's time for me to pick up & get things rolling in the right direction. Gotta get some accountability partners in my corner to keep me pushing towards what I want. Time to get myself in check and I'm not waiting until the new year. It started a few days ago. Why wait until a new year when God gives us a new day every 24hrs? 

Time to focus on Carol. A good friend told me last year, "the older you get, the more selfish you have to be." That doesn't mean ignore everyone. But it does mean do what you need to do to live a happy life even if you have to cut off certain people and things that are going to hinder you from becoming who you need to be. 

Talk to God, but most importantly, listen to what he has to say. He'll always be in my corner while I go through the challenges of accomplishing the goals I set for myself. This can be done & I'm going to push myself until these few goals are completed. If I don't show determination, then how can I expect others to believe in me. In the words of a great, world renowned scientist, Sherman Klump (lol), "Yes I Can! Yes.I.Can."  

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

FRUSTRATED...

Because I care too much

Because others don't care

Because people don't follow simple request

Because people are selfish

Because I'm not selfish

Because someone is gonna tell me this is life
Because this is life

Because I'm taken advantage of

Because I pick up others' slack

Because I'm responsible

Because I'm reliable

Because I'm a good worker
Because I'm tired
Because I can't help but help
Because I feel guilty
Because I don't like saying no
Because I'm tired
Because this is not me
Because I want new
Because I'm impatient (at times)
Because I want reasonable consistency
Because, Because, BECAUSE!!!

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Off My Chest

Yes I laugh at the all jokes about my nonexistent love life, but at times it's to keep from crying. I'm sure by now y'all think I live a sad lonely life cuz that's all I blog about lately. Well to some extent that's true. Let me just be open. I'm 25 years old, never had a real boyfriend, never been in love (well I thought I was). Of course the normal responses are gonna be, "Carol that's ok" "There's someone out there for you" "Take your time." Blah, blah, blah. And a few quotes about God. Guess what? I don't wanna hear that :) I honestly don't wanna hear anything. I just want you to read this, nod your head, and pray. Don't say anything to me because I don't wanna to listen to you. Talk to God & tell Him to talk to me.


Sometimes you gotta take a few deep breaths and continue on with life. These words are my deep breaths. I'm not gonna let my issues change the person I am. They may be tough, but I'm tougher. No matter what, I'm going to always smile and be me. I may be 5' physically, but in my mind I'm 6'7" and can handle anything thrown my way.

Now that I got that off my chest, maybe I can get a good night's sleep and be well prepared to face another day of life's excitements. Goodnight :)

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Friday Nights

Over the past maybe 2-3 months, Friday nights have become the loneliest times of my life. I sit on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress and Fours Weddings while shedding a few happy & sympathy tears.

Tonight was probably the worst.
Alone with my thoughts
Wishing I had someone here
To give me a hug
To give reassurance
Hiding behind a smile
Numb to love all while
Wanting to be loved
Just having a moment
Emotionally drained
Wishing
Dreaming
Praying
Knowing it will get better

Please don't worry about me. No sympathy needed. I will be fine. I just have to be real with myself right now. Everybody goes through moments like these and mine just happens to be now.

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Don't Ruin My Father's Day

I think my friend said it best, "Valentine's Day and Father's day be the most bitter days on Twitter yo." Except this doesn't just take place only on twitter, but everywhere. Stop ruining my Daddy & brother's Father's Day with your bitterness! I got into a debate with someone last year that was offended when I tweeted that people needed to get over it (the fact that their father wasn't there). It wasn't directed to anyone in particular. Yes, it may have been harsh, but we need to stop being sensitive Americans.

*side note* Yes I know I'm mean. It has been told to me very clearly by many people. Now ask me if I care lol. Guess my "meanness" outweighs my "niceness" *shrugs*

Why waste all your years complaining about a man that wasn't present in you life? And then you wanna do it on a day when I'm trying to honor MY father, brother, uncles & male mentors? There has to be at least ONE positive male figure in your life that stepped up when your father didn't.  May have been a grandfather, uncle, step-father, teacher, pastor, and the list goes on. Honor them instead of walking around with this chip on your shoulder for 20+ years of your life.

*side note* And mother's, if your child's father isn't around, find a positive male figure to mentor them. There are some things a woman can't teach a man and vice versa. (Don't get mad at me for speaking the truth. POW!)

I am honored and glad to have both of my parents in my life. And I'm even more privileged to be able to share them with the world! My parents have mothered and fathered kids that will never know their parents. If you don't have a mother or father present, I invite you to come hang out with my family and you can borrow my parents. We have enough love to go around.

And most importantly you have GOD who should be the #1 Father in your life. Turn to him when times get hard or when you feel alone or neglected. He can heal all wounds (created by bitterness) that no XY chromosome carrying male can ever heal.

With all that said, I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to my Daddy, my brother, my uncles, cousins, friends, and all the positive male role models in my life! I thank you for all the advice and love you have given me over the past 25 years of my life.

My Family :)
(minus my niece Saniya & unborn nephew "Rover")

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Georgia Born

Georgia born, Georgia bred and when I die, I'll be Georgia dead!

Decatur, GA has been my home since before I came out the womb. So after 25 years why is this dang pollen just now starting to affect me?!?! Is God punishing me from laughing at all the allergy sufferers? If so, I'm sorry! *in my Mr. Brown voice*

I went to the Atlanta Braves game Sunday with my sister and came home feeling like my head was gonna explode while sitting on my neck. Boy was I mad I didn't take any Wal-zyr before the game.


Now I sit in my bed almost 5 days later, still suffering. Stuffy nose, post nasal drip, coughing, headache and sore throat. Shouldn't I have acquired immunity to the different types of pollen in Georgia since I'm a life long resident? Why doesn't mother nature have some type of law that protects me? 


The Pollen Law states that, "Any person that has lived in a city or state with off the chart pollen counts for 15 consecutive years, shall be immune to any types of allergies from flowers, plants and trees. Said person shall be able to go outside and not end up feeling like death. Any pollen that tries to attack this individual will be washed away by April showers." All in favor of this law say, "yay." All opposed say, "nay." The yays have it. The Pollen Law is now in effect!!! *cheers and applause*


Ok... now that the drugs are talking, let me close me eyes and cough and sniff my little self to sleep. But only after I ingest a little of this vapor rub. Sleep tight fellow allergy sufferers! 


Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

Scan Me!!!

It really upsets me that people will find every teeny tiny little thing to complain about! Complain about why gas prices are $56393.89 a gallon or why our troops are fighting in a war that we're still trying to figure out why it was started. Stop complaining about Planned Parenthood & learn what it's about besides the fact that they support abortions. And while you're at it, shut up about TSA too! 

I just watched the interview of the parents of the 6 year little girl that was patted down by a TSA agent in New Orleans. (I like the agent was very professional & respectful while doing her job) Those parents need to go home and shut up and be glad those agents are protecting us. And while they're at it, they need to explain to their kids who TSA is, what they do, and why they do it.

People had a problem with the full body scan when it was released. Would you rather every one be searched and scanned or just let people walk through all willy nilly and you end up on a plane with a terrorist? SCAN AND PAT ME!!! I've been to airports overseas where they have soldiers in the rafters with guns pointed and ready to shoot at any given moment. Soldiers walk around, finger on the trigger and ready to attack at the first sign of danger. I guess us spoiled, ungrateful, cry baby Americans would fuss about that if our soldiers did that in the states.  

The minute we have another terrorist attack (God forbid that happen again) someone is going to complain that TSA wasn't doing something right. As the saying goes, "You can't win for losing." Well TSA, you have my support!

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.

I'm Stepping Forward to _________

be a voice for victims.


I have grown up in a society that looks down on people that step forward and I want that changed. There are so many people that are victims of many crimes, but never say anything out of fear something may happen to them or fear of being ridiculed. I am not afraid!

The past week I have been dealing with a verbal harassment situation. When it first started I was ready to handle this on my own (aka kick her ass), but as the days went on, I began to realize that is not the answer. I will not jeopardize my life & what I have going for me to entertain a complete fool. This person has been harassing people for years and no one has said anything. It's time for someone to speak up before it's too late. And they have messed with the wrong one!

Too often we sit around and joke about these types of issues and do nothing about them so they continue happening. Or we handle it in our own way (aka kicking ass) and the problem only becomes bigger. This can only lead to a person getting more aggressive and more dangerous. It's ok to laugh, but at some point something has to be done.

I am speaking up on behalf of all the other victims in this situation. I am stepping forward to save lives before this gets worse. I am not afraid to call this person out so that my life can be restored to how it was a week ago. Call me what you want, but know that I'll speak for you too if needed. I don't know about you, but God's got my back!

Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.