(Please excuse the few curse words that may present themselves in this blog. Thanks in advance!)
I'm always told how I never open up & share how I feel. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not the type of person that likes to talk about how I feel. I prefer to write & usually stash it somewhere. I thought about stashing it today, but I'm not.
For so many years I've been scared that I'm gonna end up spending my life alone. Alone in a house with Gracie & a bunch of cats. And that's not what I want. I know I'm only 24, but I dream of getting married & having a family. I've met & dated several guys that could have been "the one," only to be left alone. Everything always ends with, "Let's just be friends." Well dammit I DON'T WANNA BE EFFIN FRIENDS!!!!! Shit if I wanted to be friends then I wouldn't have started talking to you from the jump. Ok rant over. Whew that felt good!
And for all you "holy" & extra "holy" folks, I KNOW God is with me when I feel alone. I KNOW that. God is always with me. He's my #1 best friend & he has my back through everything. But I am human. I have blood running through my body. I have the right to want another human to love & have with me until I go on to glory. And that's all I want. I have prayed about. I've been patient. I'll continue to do both.
I am not giving up. Hurt comes along with life and I will learn from it & move on to what's next. When life hands you lemons throw them back until it gives you grapes. They're much tastier :)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
