(Please excuse the few curse words that may present themselves in this blog. Thanks in advance!)
I'm always told how I never open up & share how I feel. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not the type of person that likes to talk about how I feel. I prefer to write & usually stash it somewhere. I thought about stashing it today, but I'm not.
For so many years I've been scared that I'm gonna end up spending my life alone. Alone in a house with Gracie & a bunch of cats. And that's not what I want. I know I'm only 24, but I dream of getting married & having a family. I've met & dated several guys that could have been "the one," only to be left alone. Everything always ends with, "Let's just be friends." Well dammit I DON'T WANNA BE EFFIN FRIENDS!!!!! Shit if I wanted to be friends then I wouldn't have started talking to you from the jump. Ok rant over. Whew that felt good!
And for all you "holy" & extra "holy" folks, I KNOW God is with me when I feel alone. I KNOW that. God is always with me. He's my #1 best friend & he has my back through everything. But I am human. I have blood running through my body. I have the right to want another human to love & have with me until I go on to glory. And that's all I want. I have prayed about. I've been patient. I'll continue to do both.
I am not giving up. Hurt comes along with life and I will learn from it & move on to what's next. When life hands you lemons throw them back until it gives you grapes. They're much tastier :)
Live.Love.Laugh.Sing.Dance.
Hey young cousin! There is nothing "unholy" at all about your desire for family...that is a God given, holy desire. God totally understands the feelings and emotions of your "rant"...and it doesn't shock Him at all. LOL
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as a single lady...I think the the hardest thing at times can be keeping a right focus while you wait. It is easy to slip into focusing on finding Mr. Right instead of staying focused on becoming Ms. Right so that we are ready when the opportunity presents itself.
Besides...the right one is worth the wait (when he shows up, forever is a long time - LOL) and it is a lot of work to maintain the relationship once you're married...so take this time to "do you" while you're being patient and praying as you said. God has a plan for you and your husband, and it is a good plan...but I hear ya...sometimes it sure would be nice to know His divine timetable :-)
Well said Carol! I agree with you on all points. You will find that right person and it will be when you least expect to! Just keep being yourself and watch what wonderful things happen for you!
ReplyDeleteLuv you lil sis!
Dawn